1. “Have you ever been in therapy? No? You should try it. It’s like a really easy game show where the correct answer to every question is: ‘Because of my mother.’” - Robin Greenspan
2. “After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, ‘Maybe life isn’t for everyone’.” - Larry Brown.
3. “The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable.” - Paul Dean.
4. “If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one.” - Dr WC Heuper (1954)
5. “As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept saying, ‘Relax, you’re not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients’, but the another kept reminding me, ‘Howard, you are a veterinarian!’” -Dick Wilson.
6. “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.” - Walter Matthau.
7. “A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a labotomy.” - Joan Rivers.
8. “She got her looks from her father: He’s a plastic surgeon.” -Groucho Marx.
9. “For the majority of people smoking has a beneficial effect.” - Dr Ian MacDonald (1963)
10. “Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.” - Samuel Goldwyn.
11. “I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn’t diagnose a decapitation.” - Jeffrey Bernard
12. “First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.” - Steve Martin.
13. “No-one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.” - Kin Hubbard.
14. “There must be something to acupuncture.After all, you never see any sick porcupines!” - Bob Goddard.
15. “The operation was a complete success, but the patient died of something else.” - John Chiene
16. “I’m not feeling very well, I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.” - Groucho Marx
17. “A psychiatrist is a man who goes to a strip club and watches the audience.”- Merv Stockwood.
18. “Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.” - Jerry Vale
19. “I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridges” - Spike Milligan
20. “The art of medicine is in amusing a patient while nature affects the cure.”

(via Funny, Pictures,Fun, Videos, Stuff, Games, Animations, Cool Pics, Weird Vids - Most 20 Cool Funny Medical Quotes!)

WOOW, maybe you mean “terrorists” and they come with many titles!  Love the responses below…had to repost!

stfuconservatives:

confessionsofamarinewife:

super-eklectic1:

windatyourfeels:

starexorcist:

coolmoniker:

jcatgrl:

jason-penis-todd:

alexandraerin:

achaseroffaith:

beautiful-laserz:

thatarabgirl:

whatpath:

Yes, lets imagine a world WITHOUT MUSLIMS, shall we?

Without Muslims you wouldn’t have:

• Coffee

• Cameras

• Experimental Physics

• Chess

• Soap

• Shampoo

• Perfume/spirits

• Irrigation

• Crank-shaft, internal combustion engine, valves, pistons

• Combination locks

• Architectural innovation (pointed arch -European Gothic cathedrals adopted this technique as it made the building much stronger, rose windows, dome buildings, round towers, etc.)

• Surgical instruments

• Anesthesia

• Windmill

• Treatment of Cowpox

• Fountain pen

• Numbering system

• Algebra/Trigonometry

• Modern Cryptology

• 3 course meal (soup, meat/fish, fruit/nuts)

• Crystal glasses

• Carpets

• Checks

• Gardens used for beauty and meditation instead of for herbs and kitchen.

• University
• Optics
• Music
• Toothbrush
• Hospitals
• Bathing
• Quilting
• Mariner’s Compass
• Soft drinks
• Pendulum
• Braille
• Cosmetics
• Plastic surgery
• Calligraphy
• Manufacturing of paper and cloth

It was a Muslim who realized that light ENTERS our eyes, unlike the Greeks who thought we EMITTED rays, and so invented a camera from this discovery.

It was a Muslim who first tried to FLY in 852, even though it is the Wright Brothers who have taken the credit.

It was a Muslim by the name of Jabir ibn Hayyan who was known as the founder of modern Chemistry. He transformed alchemy into chemistry. He invented: distillation, purification, oxidation, evaporation, and filtration. He also discovered sulfuric and nitric acid.

It is a Muslim, by the name of Al-Jazari who is known as the father of robotics.

It was a Muslim who was the architect for Henry V’s castle.

It was a Muslim who invented hollow needles to suck cataracts from eyes, a technique still used today.

It was a Muslim who actually discovered inoculation, not Jenner and Pasteur to treat cowpox. The West just brought it over from Turkey

It was Muslims who contributed much to mathematics like Algebra and Trigonometry, which was imported over to Europe 300 years later to Fibonnaci and the rest.

It was Muslims who discovered that the Earth was round 500 years before Galileo did.

The list goes on………..

Just imagine a world without Muslims. Now I think you probably meant, JUST IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT TERRORISTS. And then I would agree, the world would definitely be a better place without those pieces of filth. But to hold a whole group responsible for the actions of a few is ignorant and racist. No one would ever expect Christians or White people to be held responsible for the acts of Timothy McVeigh (Oklahoma bombing) or Andreas Brevik (Norway killing), or the gun man that shot Congresswoman Giffords in head, wounded 12 and killed 6 people, and rightly so because they had nothing to do with those incidents! Just like the rest of the 1.5 billion Muslims have nothing to do with this incident!

Sources:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/how-islamic-inventors-changed-the-world-469452.html

http://articles.cnn.com/2010-01-29/world/muslim.inventions_1_hassani-inventions-muslim?_s=PM:WORLD

http://www.ummahedinburgh.co.uk/radio/files/Muslim-Invention-Article.pdf

BURN :)

 Forever reblog.

This is so brilliant that the only thing I can add is a semi-useless fact:

If you ever study astronomy, you’ll notice that many stars begin with the letters “Al.”  As in Aldebaran, Algol, Albireo, Alkaid, Alphecca, Algenib, Alpheratz…I could go on.  Why?  Because it’s an Arabic prefix.  While Europe was languishing in the dark ages, Muslim astronomers were mapping the skies and giving the stars names.

And of course, a lot of the accumulated “western” knowledge of the classical age is only around because it was preserved by Muslims.

Imagine a world without asshole bigots and terrorism.

 Oh god, this is a breath of fresh air compared to my house. My dad thinks there’s no such thing as Islamophobia because “phobias have to be irrational”.

Reblogging this again.

man I sure do love ignorant racist shit like this proven wrong.

I looove you tumblr.

That fact dump was so good I think I came.

Also I love how racists always conveniently leave out the fact that there were Muslims who lived in NYC and worked in the world trade center, and were killed just the same by those attacks. 

THIS.

I’d like to imagine a world without racists/Islamophobes.

-Jess

nineteenpercent:

feministepiphanies:

Please stop telling me I’m pretty Please stop telling me I’m fat
Please stop telling me I’m crazy Just cause I love every cat
Please stop calling me a spinster Just cause I wont lie with you
I know you’d be calling me a whore If I went home with you

Don’t tell me I need protecting Don’t say I need to be saved
Don’t tell me I’m PMSing If your mindless ignorance sends me into a rage.

If I’m a liberated equal Just as accomplished as a man
Just as worthwhile and smart and kind and good and rational Why won’t you represent me as I am?

Please stop telling me I’m lonely Cause I’ve never found a man
Who doesn’t kneel before me Or try to keep me down
Don’t try to put my value In the value of my face
Standing with your dollybirds Will never be my place

Don’t assume I have a special Bond with every other woman, 
That I don’t get what you’re saying Or understand just what you’re doing
Don’t tell me it’s fine Cause I can fall back on my looks
I’d rather leave my husband Than ever leave my books

If I’m a liberated equal Just as accomplished as a man
Just as worthwhile and smart and kind and good and rational Why won’t you represent me as I am?

The awful thing about the media the thing that makes me really pissed
Is there are millions of real women out there But they’re writing about dolls when they should focus more on us.

If I’m a liberated equal Just as accomplished as a man
Just as worthwhile and smart and kind and good and rational Why won’t you represent me as I am?

Feminist Music? Yes, please. I like this lady and her song. 

http://www.youtube.com/tenminutetati

nineteenpercent:

I like this guy. 

this is tooo cute

Blue Ivy in Nursury (spoof)

As 2011 comes to an end, we may be looking back and either thinking, “I accomplished everything I set out to do plus some.” or ” Man, I really thought I’d be in another place right now.” Well, look on the bright side….YOU MADE IT!  And though it is always good to reflect on where you have come from, every second is a chance to take a new step in the direction you want to go.

Going into 2012, forget about New Year’s resolutions and create NEW YEAR’S COMMITMENTS. While a New Year’s resolution is often a vaguely defined promise involving a character trait or behavioral change, usually w/ NO plan of action, a New Year’s Commitment often involves a very specific plan or a course of action, such as to achieve a certain position at work, or to start up a business.

• Don’t say your gonna get in a gym and lose weight.  If you’re a size 16, go out and buy and size 10 or 12 “TO DIE FOR” dress, set a date or plan an occassion, hang it up and say, “I AM GOING ROCK THIS.”  COMMIT to it. 
• You don’t like your job—Today, pull out your resume, dress it up for you dream job, and COMMIT to sending it out to atleast 1-3 employers a day,o or week.
• Don’t just say you need to save…Set a financial goal/date, open a savings account TODAY, set an amount and start a direct transfer to take that money out of your checking account and deposited into your savings account. COMMIT
• Do you want to get more involved in church.  Here’s a good idea…right now, take out your cell phone, set  your alarm clock for 8:00 am 1/1/2012, and WAKE YOUR BUTT UP! ;-)  COMMIT

Resolutions are ideas for what you know you need, or would like to do. COMMITMENTS are plans to Get It Done!

SAY it in your head, WRITE it down, & MAKE it law!

MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL IN 2012!

~Miss Jaime Nicolle

thatchicheather:

»ATTN RESIDENTS of DC/MD/VA«

The Washington Regional Alcohol Program’s annual “SoberRide” campaign starts tonight @ 9pm!! :) Please spread the word around to ALL of your friends, family, associates & co-workers!

Basically if you attend a holiday party, happy hour or hit the club anytime from 10pm Fri 12/16 til 6am Jan 1 2012 …you can call the 800# listed below & receive up to $30 off your cab ride home. The cab company knows that you are gonna be boozed, they will get you home safely. Make sure that you have your address written neately BEFORE you get wasted so the driver can read it lol. Have enough cash on-hand to pay any overage if you are going farther than $30 will get ya. And call at least an hour before you wanna get picked up bc the drivers are in very high demand this season w/ all the holiday festivities. *Just my advice from experience (I’ve used them the past 5yrs, as have tons of my former co-workers).  

Again, this is a GREAT svc & I’m so glad this awesome organization provides this every year! Pls spread the word to EVERYONE you know …you never know when simple communication/promotion/prevention might just save lives! Let’s keep these roads safe & enjoy the holidays properly!!! Drink up & party right! :)

SOBER RIDE #800-200-TAXi

Sad But True

Inspirational Story:  A father’s Love

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

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TINY TIRADE (10): Chicken Wings and Things (by NineteenPercent)